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Frequently Asked Questions:

Sick or Around Someone Sick?
I personally don't care whether or not you've been vaccinated.  I do care that I'm responsible for many elderly and at-risk health clients.   I know you all want and need to feel better with my magic boobs but All I ask is that if you've been sick or around someone who has been sick in the past week in any way, please DO NOT book.  I trust you see this as fair. As self-employed, I don't get sick pay; I'm not on a salary so if I don't work, I don't pay bills.  

Why do I request a voice message?
This is not only to be sure you're a real person with authentic intentions of coming for my services but also for safety.  I understand that people in their personal situations require discretion, but discretion and trust (as much as can be expected in this business) go both ways which also means your life stuff is not my concern as I live my life authentically.  Finally, if you feel you can't or won't follow my protocols with my simple request of a 1 min voice message then how do I believe you will respect me once in my personal and private setting. We're probably not a good fit.

Why are the hours for First Timers different? 
Many responses I get from people is to assure me they're normal and can I make them the exception and let them come in late.  Please know that it's not that I think you're not normal.  After 20 years in this business, I've just learned that First Timers are not always that reliable or sure about following through and it's a lot of prep to in the early morning to get space ready and my evening time is very valuable to me, so I want the assured clients in the evening.  Also, it's very dark in my area early in the morning and at night and it's a higher risk that a newbie may get lost or worst-case scenario go to the wrong home... YIKES!  

Why do I not discuss details over text or phone?
Mainly this is because cell phones are considered public lines in the sense you could be in a public place (ie your car, etc) and therefore that crosses legal permitted lines.  Also, MOST of the questions I receive can be answered by simply reading through my website. I try to keep all enquiries very professional for protection of both parties so if you are the type who's looking for conversations generally found on a 1-900 sex chat number I'm not the best fit (possibly something I could consider getting for future lol).  Please note that if your conversation is too explicit or inappropriate then I may not even respond. 

Why has it been difficult to get in?
This truly makes me sad.  I screen all calls, most times I'm just waiting for your first timer voice message. I generally reply back by text within minutes.  If you're calling and texting and I'm not responding then it's generally because I feel we are not a good fit and you I encourage you to find another provider.  Other times:
* you may be calling outside my work hours (7am -7pm weekdays or 7am - 4pm weekends and stats) when my phone is turned off.  I won't return text the next morning unless you request it.
* perhaps it's been suggested that you find another provider or
* you should check if you're following my booking protocols or 
* you're not getting the message that we're not a good fit, or
* you've been a naughty boy and confirmed a booking and cancelled last minute too many times getting the dreaded TWOT title. 
Malahat may be a challenge for First timers as generally I'm only willing to see you before it gets too dark. The hours do adjust with the seasons so don't lose hope.  Currently, I work 7 days a week and am generally available for 12 hours (except weekends and stats which are shorter 10am - 4pm.  I may schedule some personal time if no appointments are booked by 4pm.  If I have no plans, I may make a rare exception for familiar clients that I know will be considerate and generous and truly wish a mutually shared enjoyable evening that extend no later than 7pm though.

Why do I ask people to acknowledge in text they've previewed my website and protocols and all is acceptable?
Because I also do Therapeutic Massage and therefore advertise on non-sexual sites, I need people to be OK with both.  Due to the "me too" movement along with recent charges filed targeting erotic massage providers (all be it they were stating RMT or Therapists which is a no no); Regardless, clarity of expectations/intentions of their clients have not been proven or made public; I feel that boundaries need to be understood prior to the session so intentions and permissions are clear to both parties. This crucial industry that is constantly misunderstood, judged and under attack must be protected. My website is clear that I work outside medical professional zones, unless a strictly Therapeutic massage is specified.

How private is your place. I may know someone in your area?
Discretion has always been a challenge in the best of circumstances.  My area is a community neighborhood and I have a driveway so there's no running away from seeing your vehicle.  The main thing to remember is "who I am".  I've been in business for 20+ years now.  I'm not a business that flaunts what society calls ill repute nor do I have a revolving door. My neighbors so-far love and respect me.  If you are selected to come in, you can safely call me "friend".  Explaining to someone you may know, if they are so nosy inclined, is simple.  Here some examples:
1.  I was selling something on used.ca or marketplace and you were just viewing
2.  Depending on your business, I could be your client getting a quote.
3.  Or just say that I'm an old friend and you're checking out my place. (My family has lived on this island since the mid 1800s, so I'm bound to know you from somewhere. LOL)
Whatever your situation may be, it's your own mind that's screaming "I'm doing something wrong" I don't believe the service I provide is wrong in any situation as I operate a legitimate safe practice that enhances your life and at your comfort level, I encourage relationships that wish to be strengthened to grow by being open to each other's needs through communication.  speaking honestly helps end the outdated social programming.​

Why don't I want reviews on public review boards?
This has nothing to do with me hiding anything as I offer a truthful, authentic, safe, clean service but everything to do with privacy and discretion.  I'm sure the Review board offers help to those that are new and avoid unsafe locations (or at least it use to). Times have changed and it tends to be more about someone's physical and sexual only preferences (very little about massage skills that add the nurturing sensual touch that my clients look for) or they disclose novels about individual private dealings and locations which some of the SPs may like the exposure.  I'm sure Hobbyist/Pooners must be smart enough to know the site is watched by L.E., general anti-sex community people and creeping spouses that have lost trust and are looking to divert blame.  There isn't really anonymity with L.E. ie Post at your own risk but please not mine or my clients. I like to think posters are truly trying to help promote business for SPs but for me, if you really feel the need to throw discretion to the wind and publicize events, then I'd prefer you just offer to share information via Private Message.
 
What are my Restrictions:
This question right off the bat tells me you're most likely a seasoned hobbyist who likes to "Roam like home" so to speak. LOL  I have very few restrictions in my point of view for massage, but I understand many are used to playmates who throw in massage.  There are very different views from the vast world of sexual play so I will answer this question in regard to sensual massage from the average person.
DO's:
1.  Respectful touching is allowed all over (yes, even below the belt for bookings of 45mins or longer)
2.  I do incorporate a lot of boob play ~ so yes, I perform Russian yes you can orally play with them and cum on them.  They love the attention.  :-D
3.  I do allow as many releases as you wish but I guarantee none.
4.  YMMV ~ yes if you arrive with a positive attitude, a willingness to participate and leave your pooning checklist at home and come with the intention to just receive, you most likely will not be disappointed; overall, you probably will enjoy all the juicy goodies that I offer to those that are genuinely there to be touched by me in all my sensual and nurturing ways.  
DON'Ts
1.  Don't be too pushy, grabby, pokey, or vulgar, or aggressive, it's not fun and it doesn't match my sensual energy
1.  I don't wish to be fingers poking my vagina or clitoris. I'm a great communicator and will gladly show you what I like to get the best response. (ie: dirty/sharp fingers/nails on delicate vagina = Angry Vagina... OUCH!
2. My nipples are sensitive so please be gentle. The rest of my boobs though you can go wild on as they love getting tossed and smacked around. 
3. I don't kiss as I consider that very intimate
4.  I won't hit you anywhere (That's considered a fetish and no longer provided)
5.  I won't talk about my sexual experience or other sessions (again fetish/fantasy)
6.  I won't role play. ie mommy, bad boy, etc. (again fantasy).
7.  Just remember the vagina must be treated with great care ie, hands, under fingernails should be cleaned at the start of the session when I offer the shower.  Just as your penis requires stimulating to feel good and get a response, so does my vagina.  Never forget the labia is the gatekeeper and not all doorbells are the same so best to ask.
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